Meredith Brooks, Bitch*

Albuquerque family photographer - ccliberman photographyWho We Are - A CCL Photo November Project It's election season and we've been hearing "that's who we are" or "that's just not who we are" quite a bit. The people on TV are talking about who we are as Americans. And that's a valid question, but it's made me think a lot about the very essence of WHO WE ARE in the context of family.

I was looking around my house today and I saw a Boston Red Sox hat hanging over a Red Sox scarf in the hallway. It was one of the kid's hats. It had been rolling around in the hall for days before I picked it up and kind of haphazardly stacked it on top of the coats and stuff that gather on hooks. I took another look around and saw another hat on the back of a door handle and a Red Sox t-shirt on a clothes pile on the bathroom floor. WE ARE Red Sox fans. That's evident in how we schedule our summer life around baseball games and, also, in the middle names we have given our children (Jason after catcher Jason Varitek; Boston for our son born in 2013, the year they won the World Series). You can see our dedication to our team in our laundry and the small memorabilia shrine we keep on our dresser (don't judge! It's only weird if it doesn't work), in the license plate frame on our newly acquired Momrod and if you listen closely, in the constant conversation about how to manage a baseball team that runs through our lives, because my husband and I are SURE if they would we just CALL US we could fix all the teams' woes. We are also apparently messy. There are six of us, we live in a smallish house. Sometimes the mess overtakes the space.

I took a few more looks around the house. All of my sewing stuff is sitting on a kitchen counter with a pile of multi-colored felt. It's costume season and that's kind of my World Series. I make the kids' costumes while complaining and shotgunning Starbucks for a few very hectic weeks. Who am I? I am Crafty Mom. There are kid paints and my paints next to jars of paint brushes sitting in the corner of the counter ready to be used at a moment's notice. Who are we? We are artists. There paint swatches stuck to walls and cabinets in an endless quest to make my house feel like home, or to sell it and buy something better suited to six people...whichever comes first. Who are we? We are in transition. Our beds are unmade as if we rolled out and hit the ground running, which we did, or maybe as if they are waiting with open arms for us to return knowing we are too exhausted to pull back the comforters and sheets before falling asleep, which we will be.  Who are we? We are busy and we are tired.

Last year at this time, I did project called Kids Live Here about how the essence of children can be seen in a home even when the children themselves are not present. I captured shoes and cups and toys all abandoned in pursuit of another adventure. I showed their rooms and their creations and their little - mostly big - messes. My house is alive because my kids live in it.

This year, I'd like to explore the question of WHO WE ARE as individuals, as a family, as people in our city and in our world. And, I'd like you to join me by making your own photographic exploration of who YOU are. Let's start our project on Nov. 1, 2016. I know, November is Thanksgiving and the run up to the holidays...but maybe that's the best time, we are the most US when we are in the thick of it. I'll do a weekly blog post and you can contribute in the comments on my Facebook page and by using the hashtag #CCLphotoWhoWeAre on Facebook and Instagram. I'm eager to find out a little bit about myself and my own family, and I look forward to seeing who you are.

* You know you're singing along!

-Jack Johnson, The Sharing Song

The last and, in my opinion, BEST part of this project was the part where you shared YOUR pictures. It turns out that I already knew my kids were messy and have too many toys, but it was SO MUCH FUN seeing your kids' stuff! I had a hard time picking pictures for the blog, so I picked two from each contributor, but check out the entire gallery of everyone's pictures. They are wonderful!

Jama Lewis

#CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Jama Lewis #CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Jama Lewis Janelle Zwicker*

#CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Janelle Zwicker #CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Janelle Zwicker Jessie Vehar

#CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Jessie Vehar "I'll see your syrup on the carpet and raise you some magic marker!" - Jessie Vehar

#CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Jessie Vehar Lara Schroeder

#CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Lara Schroeder #TeenagerLivesHere

Meredith Chavez

#CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Meredith ChavezScreenshot #CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Meredith ChavezScreenshot Maya Key

#CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Maya Key #CCLphotoKidsLiveHere - Maya Key

I'm gonna end with a story my cousin shared with me about this project. I feel like it really captures what I was trying to say with Kids Live Here. Thank you to Jama Lewis and her niece Caitlin Green for allowing me to share your personal story.

"Your Kids Live Here hit me. The LIVE HERE part. We went crazy packing for camping. I tried to pick up; my niece was house/dog sitting. We left, and I knew we left a mess. I apologized profusely before and, again, after we got home. I realized how messy it was. Her reply? 'No, I love it, it's proof of life! People live here!' Her dad is a neat freak and I remember after my nephew died, for therapeutic purposes, his dad did yard work. He found Nerf bullets in the most random parts of the yard. He said 'It's so weird, I want to scold him, dammit pick up your toys!' The post-camping mess is still here and there. The few toys the kids have earned back are here or there. But, it gave me one heck of a pause when she said 'it's proof of life!' She always says she loves coming to my messy house. Now I know why. #weLIVEhere"

Again, thanks to all of you for joining me!

*Janelle Zwicker, besides being the voice in my head, my unofficial "sister wife" and go-to authority on all things shopping and Disney, is also a photographer in Orange County, Calif. Check out her work at Life's A Party photography.

-Ed Sheeran, Photograph

The best camera you have, is the one you have with you and I never go ANYWHERE without my cell phone. An additional layer to my October Kids Live Here project was a collection of Instagram photos. This was almost as much fun as the more structured "real camera" quiet study half of the project. It allowed me to capture quick moments as I moved through the days (picking up stuff). (And it made me realize just how much of my life is dominated by sippy cups and minions.) For all the talk about how addicted we are to our phones, and I SO am, I love having my phone handy for the moments that are fleeting. I love capturing a bucket hat, a silly dance and a crazy outfit in an unguarded, spontaneous moment of childhood bliss. These pictures aren't that, they are a continuation of kid STUFF, but maybe that's a project for another month.

ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer Abandoned Sippy Cup - A daylong study of cups in the wild

ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer Abandoned Sippy Cup Round Up

ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer

And in case you thought that the project ended and I stopped documenting my crazy life for posterity (i.e. to prove to them when they are teenagers that they were messy little monsters ... I mean to celebrate the glee with which they enjoy our home), here is one last #CCLphotoKidsLiveHere moment.

ccliberman photography #CCLphotoKidsLiveHereAlbuquerque family photographer

-Phil Vassar, Just Another Day in Paradise

Albuquerque family photographer - ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque family photographer

Albuquerque family photographer - ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque family photographer - Carmela Chavez Liberman Albuquerque family photographer - ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque family photographer - Carmela Chavez Liberman Albuquerque family photographer - ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque family photographer

Albuquerque Family Photographer#KidsLiveHere - Albuquerque Family Photographer I fully intended for those five photos to be the end of my Kids Live Here project, but it felt incomplete. Although I said at the very beginning of this project that my challenge was to showcase my children without SHOWING my children, l felt like the thing that was missing from this monthlong study of mess and joy and brightly colored things with eyes (seriously, WHY do they all have eyes?!) was the mess and joy makers themselves. So here they are (in all their can't-sit-still glory).

Albuquerque Family PhotographerAlbuquerque Family Photographer - #KidsLiveHere

Thank you so much to everyone who followed my project and an EXTRA special THANK YOU to those of you who posted your own pictures. You shared your lives with me and got a glimpse of my life. This IS my circus, these ARE my monkeys...and it's glorious (and messy, very very messy)! At the end of each day, my house looks like it hosted one heck of a party and, in a way, it did. Let's continue to celebrate the party that is children and childhood and LIFE! #CCLphotoKidsLIVEhere.

"All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me

All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me"

-Independent Women, Pt. 1, Destiny's Child

Albuquerque family photographer - ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque mini sessions She said "I'm not gonna buy these you know," and I said "I know, but let's take a few of just you anyway." She thought I was being silly and, truthfully, I was burning a little time while her boys ran around and got the wiggles out so I could talk them into another round of standing *sort of* still for me. But here's the other thing (and it's important): Moms, you need to be in pictures, too. Not just with the kids. Not just with your spouse. But all alone, standing tall like the strong independent women you are.

We've all seen posts on Facebook about getting in the pictures on vacation and how important is to be part of the memories not just the keeper and capturer (I'm pretty sure I made that word up, go with it) of them. And as a boudoir photographer, I feel it's important to express your sexy side for yourself and your spouse (but mostly for YOURSELF). But it's also important to see yourself without the kids, without the spouse. (And you single mom warriors, this is especially important for YOU!) It's important to really SEE yourself. Are you hearing me? SEE YOURSELF.

Remember what it's like to go potty alone? To grab your purse and "run in" somewhere? To not schedule your weekends around birthday parties and soccer? To buy clothes and not have to consider how it will stand up to food or spit up or boogers? To not worry all day about where the kids are and what they are doing and what heartbreaks they are experiencing and whether or not they took a warm enough jacket? Yeah, me either.

That's why I took "just a few of you alone." You don't have to pick them. I just hope that when you are scrolling through your gallery marveling at the beautiful children you've made, you stop and take a good look at yourself and see how awesome you are!

You'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky
It's true that you are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you"

-These are Days, 10,000 Maniacs

ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque family photographer ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque family photographer *That's syrup. Yes, you read that right. SYRUP. In the living room. On the CARPET. Syrup.

ccliberman photographyAlbuquerque Family Photographer One week to go! Thanks to those of you who are still playing along with awesome participation on Instagram and Facebook. I've decided to finish off this project I will do one blog post of my own Instagram photos and then I'll do a blog post of YOUR photos! So keep the photos coming!

-Weezer, You Might Think - Cars 2 soundtrack*

Albuquerque family photographercclberman photography Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography

Let's raise our Paw Patrol cups to another week of #CCLphotoKidsLiveHere and our celebration of bright colors, cars in bed and pacifiers abandoned by the DVR (because where else would you leave a paci?!).

I'm loving your posts on Facebook and Instagram! Keep 'em coming!

*My kids make me listen to this song EVERY single day in the car, but it takes on a whole new meaning when I start singing it to my messy little monsters.

-Kenny Loggins, House at Pooh Corner

Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography

Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography

Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography

Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography

Albuquerque family photographerccliberman photography

Thank you to everyone who is following along (and not judging our messes!) and a special thank you to those of you who are participating on Facebook and Instagram! Keep sharing and don't forget to use the hashtag #CCLphotoKidsLiveHere!

-Trace Adkins

Have you ever felt trapped under a mountain of brightly colored toys or papers with squiggles drawn lovingly with crayon or marker or even your eyeliner? Do you know that tiny little clothes that were so cute at the store get less cute when they are overflowing from a hamper? Have you ever stepped on LEGOs or Barbie shoes or matchbox cars or plastic ponies on your way to check on a crying baby in the middle of the night? And have you ever thought - at least once or twice - "I'd love to have my own house next door where I can read books and not have to share my drink or my snack with someone who will drool all over it. Where I can shower without having to leave the door open. Where I can reach into a drawer and not pull out a lone unmatched sock or a dragon or a spoon still covered in peanut butter"? If you know what I'm talking about, then you are probably living with children.

"Mom! We decorated!" For the month of October I'm embarking on a journey to look at my children and their messes in a new light. And while I LOVE taking pictures of my kids, for this project I've challenged myself to capture who they are when they are totally out of the picture. I want to celebrate the quiet moments left behind when they have started a project, then halfway through, moved on to something more interesting. I want to find joy in the army of cars and stuffed animals and dirty little shoes that march through my days. I want to capture these magical, messy days of crayons and trains and dinosaurs because I realize that all too soon, they will be replaced with giant shoes and back packs and textbooks, and not long after that, nothing at all.

Albuquerque family photographer - ccliberman photography And MOST IMPORTANTLY, I'd like you to join me. If you have children - or even if you don't, BE CREATIVE! - I'd like you to grab your camera, ANY CAMERA (yes, your phone counts!) and capture YOUR life. If you don't have little kids, no worries, capture those things that make your life YOURS and share them. At the end of each week during the month of October, I will post my pictures as a blog post, and I will post a link to my blog on Facebook. You can share your pictures in the comments on my Facebook page or on Instagram. Please use #CCLphotoKidsLiveHere wherever you share. 

I'm excited to do this project, and I'm excited for you to join me! Let's get started!

*I found the idea for this project on a Pinterest pin that linked to this blog.

-Where the Wild Things Are

Halloween is over. All the costumes have been put away, the decorations are on sale, and the stores, the radio and even I have moved on to preparing for Christmas. I don't do nearly as many creative projects as I used to in Life B.C. - Before Children, but the one thing I always do is make my kids' Halloween costumes. I used to get to pick. I picked a wood sprite, winged dragon, golden snitch and Hedwig the owl, bumble bee and spiders. But now the kids get to pick. They've chosen characters from our favorite books, a unicorn and PEANUT BUTTER (THAT was a test of my creativity, for sure). I love what their costume choices say about them and what they are interested in. I love that they come up with an idea and it's my job to make it a reality for them. And I love that it's something I can do for them even though they don't realize yet how much work it is.

When I used to dream of having kids, I imagined a tribe of pink tutu-wearing little girls playing with Barbies and Cabbage Patch Kids. I imagined reading Ramona and Judy Blume and Sweet Valley everything. I pictured ... you know, a whole bunch of Mini Mes. Instead I have a tribe of little boys. Loud, active, dirty, sometimes smelly, potty joke-telling boys. They are wild things. And they do wild things, and they love to read about rockets and monsters and dogs and dragons and other wild boy things.

For my first son's first birthday, we asked people to bring books instead of cards. My husband picked the Chronicles of Narnia, I chose a giant book about ballparks. Each of our friends brought books that they enjoyed reading either as kids or to their own kids. We've read most of them, we treasure all of them. My longtime girlfriend, we've been friends since high school (talk about wild things...), brought the kid classic Where the Wild Things Are. My oldest never really connected with the story of a rambunctious little boy who climbs into his own boat and sails away from his bedroom to lands unknown to become king of the Wild Things. He preferred to read about a monster that wasn't scary and about dragons that love tacos but not hot sauce. But my middle son, he LOVED the story of Max from the very first time we read it. He really got into roaring his terrible roar and gnashing his terrible teeth. He loved those big scary Wild Things and was sure that if he ever went on that journey, he, too would be the king. And even now, years after that first reading of this classic children's tale, he picks it when it's his turn to choose the bedtime story.

As a way to spend some fun mommy-son time, I took my little wild thing on his own Max adventure. He found a big tree dropping apples and another shedding "icky sticky pears." He played in light patches and shadows. He tried to pick leaves off a branch that arched over his head just out of his itty bitty reach, even when he jumped his biggest and highest jump. He asked numerous people if he could "please pet your dog." He threw leaves and watched them hit the water and travel down a little irrigation ditch out of sight. He picked up sticks and used them to dig a hole. He stomped and knelt and rolled in the dirt. And then when his little lips were turning purple and his little hands were like ice, and I told him it was time to go home, he asked if he could pee on a tree because "I really really have to go potty." And I let him.

My little "Max" won't always be little and wild. His life will take him on many adventures, but hopefully, like the character that he loves, when he gets lonely, he will always get back in his little boat and "sail back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day" back to the someones who love him best of all, and we'll have supper waiting for him ... and it'll still be hot.

To see the entire Where the Wild Things Are photo session, click here.

-Jack Kornfield’s Buddha’s Little Instruction Book

I was shocked and saddened by the death of Robin Williams yesterday. In fact, I've been crying on and off since I got the text from my mom telling me he had died. I've been indulging in some Twitter grief and communal Facebook grieving. I've been watching too many news reports and reading too many news stories trying to figure out exactly how I felt about the loss of someone I never met. And I realized that I'm just ... sad. I'm sad for the man who gave so much light to world and was left with only darkness. I'm sad that everyone will be deprived of the joy he could have contributed to the world in the years he had left. And, mostly, I'm sad because the shock of his death highlights for me how fleeting life really is. It reminds me how important every moment is. It clarifies my need to be present and grateful for every second, even if that second involves a toddler tantrum. And mostly it makes me feel the urge to pick up my camera so that I can gather and save those fleeting seconds.

Albuquerque engagement photographyccliberman photography TAKE PICTURES. Take pictures take pictures take pictures. Take them with your camera, take them with your phone, take them with your computer as your child sneaks up behind you at night for one last hug as you work the night away trying to make life just a little bit better for him. Capture birthdays and lost teeth and first rides on airplanes. And capture your kids playing in the yard like they do every afternoon, and your spouse burning toast like he does every morning. Because those moments are important, too. Print them out. Hang them on the wall, make books, attach them to the refrigerator. Surround yourself with all those little fleeting moments of your life.

Earlier this year, Apple put out an iPad commercial with Robin Williams doing a voice over using a scene from the movie Dead Poet's Society. The visually stunning ad moves me every time I see it. Colorful scenes of games and dancers and musicians fly by the screen as you hear the familiar voice of Robin Williams say: 

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering – these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love – these are what we stay alive for.

To quote from Whitman,

“O me, O life of the questions of these recurring. Of the endless trains of the faithless. Of cities filled with the foolish. What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer: that you are here. That life exists and identity. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.”

“That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.”

What will your verse be?

Albuquerque newborn photographerccliberman photography We know what verse Robin Williams left behind. He left over 100 films, shows and specials where we can hear his voice and see his face. I hope that his family, and all who loved him, will be comforted by the body of work he spent his entire life building. Unfortunately, most of us don't have movies to watch or interviews to look back on. We contribute to the world in the anonymity of every day as we raise our kids and buy our groceries and do our jobs without being noticed. My verse is a love that started when I was a 17-year-old cheerleader standing outside a classroom talking to a boy in a bomber jacket with shaggy pool-bleached green hair and all of the memories and places we made our home and babies that have come from that love. My verse is three little boys who are smart and funny and strong willed and so very full of life. My verse is helping women to see their beauty as others see them and to love their strong, healthy bodies no matter what shape or size. My verse is the ability and the love of capturing moments whether they are of my own family as it grows and changes or yours, as you are starting off on a journey together like the couple I'm heading out to photograph this evening, or well on your way. "That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." My verse is you.

I think I've always wanted children. I had a million dolls as a kid. I always carried a doll with me wherever I went. To the store, on vacation, one of my Cabbage Patch Kids even made it into a class picture in elementary school. And every night, I would fall asleep in the middle of my mom's giant bed with all of my babies lined up next to me. I felt safe and loved surrounded by all of my dolls and stuffed animals. So it's no surprise to me that I have three kids (so far...), but what is a surprise is the ferocity with which I love my babies. It's primal and soft, overwhelming and makes me weepy. It's moments of pure joy and moments of epic frustration. It's love like I've never known and can't even explain in a way that makes sense to someone who hasn't experienced it.

Albuquerque maternity photographer - ccliberman photography

From the outside pregnancy is a topic of conversation, a club women who have experienced it are part of and one women who want to experience it are eager to get in to. We talk to each other about morning sickness and maternity clothes and ultrasound pictures. We reminisce about being pregnant, share labor stories and compare stretch marks. From the inside, at least for me anyway, it's months of worry and joy, exhaustion and anticipation. I'm constantly in awe of this amazing body that can make people (and, after, I'm a little hard on it for not snapping back quickly enough). And it's LONG. VERY VERY LONG. 

Albuquerque maternity photographer - ccliberman photography

With every pregnancy, I have had the intention to document it like I would for someone else. I want to show the beauty and miracle of carrying a baby. Each moment of it lovingly documented. I want to show how eager I am to meet our new little person, and how much I love my husband for being willing to go another round of crazy pregnant wife and up all nights with me. But with each pregnancy I am bigger and more tired than the last, so by the time I start showing I look more like I barely survived a fight with Mother Nature, rather than Mother Nature incarnate. With this, my third child, I started showing roughly five minutes after I took the test and by 20 weeks people were already asking me if I was close to the end.

And while I only managed to take a few photos this time around, I can say that, as always, it was a an awe inspiring experience ... even though I'm a truly terrible preggo. Really. But on the bright side, we do make the most extraordinarily beautiful babies, so totally worth it. (I know, all mamas think that.)

Albuquerque newborn photographer - ccliberman photography

Welcome to the world, my newest beloved. Benji Boston, born November 29, 2013.

Mark: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences...But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.

-Bridget Jones's Diary -

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

There isn't a character in film or in literature I identify with more than Bridget Jones, except maybe for her equally outspoken Jane Austen counterpart, Elizabeth Bennet. But, really, I'm way more Bridget. She is kind of clumsy, kind of blunt, and she always seems to be in an war between what she wants to eat and what she wants to look like - and the eating always wins. And I have another thing in common with her, the hero in my story loves me just as I am. Well, that and he reminds me quite a bit of Colin Firth (if you mixed in a little John Mayer). And isn't that what we all want? For someone to look at us and skip over all the "wobbly bits" and "diarrhea of the mouth" moments, seeing only the good things we have to offer?

Maybe it's because I don't have to work too hard for my husband to think I look great or maybe it's because before him, I felt like I had to work really really hard to be seen as attractive, but when I started this  business adventure, I decided to take a different view of boudoir photography and women in general. I made a conscious decision to buck the system that says the experience is about being a different you, a supped up you, a you as you wish you were rather than as you are. I decided that I wanted to show you the amazing, sexy YOU, that is shining through whether you are taking the dog for a walk or going out for date night. For many of my clients, that means sprucing up for a night out and showing off a rarely seen, but innately present sexy side. And for others, showing off the sexy doesn't mean hair and makeup at all, it means showing up and showing off without any extras. And I love that. I love that being your best you can be bare faced or made up, ponytail or bombshell hair. And it's important to remember that your partner sees and LOVES the real you every day.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

A friend of mine had been talking about doing a boudoir session for some time. She kept saying "I think my husband would love it." Well, like time does, it marched on. My friend and her husband were moving away, and we still hadn't gotten around to scheduling a session. She came over to hang out and said one more time "I really should have done that, he would have loved it." I pointed out that she had three more days ... and we were off. Session scheduled, surprise planned. 

I have lots of different kinds of friends. Many are sorority sisters who always look put together, some are more casual mom types like me and this particular friend is more at home camping in the woods with her husband and her furbabies than she is at a mall. She doesn't wear makeup, in fact she didn't even own a "real bra" when we scheduled our session. We had fun in the days leading up to her shoot. She shopped, we shared pictures and ideas. I thought she might be nervous, but she was completely at home in her skin. She loved her pictures, her husband LOVED her pictures, and I saw firsthand that being yourself is sexier than being made up to be someone else. She wouldn't have looked like her with even a little makeup. It would have become a mask that would have covered up the essence of who she is. Her husband loves her, and she loves herself...just as she is.

Albuquerque engagement photographer - ccliberman photography

I met my husband in high school. He sat next to me in English class, was later a friend, then a boyfriend, now my partner in life and in "crime" and parenting (which might be the same thing, we're still not sure). I didn't know way back then that flirting outside a classroom on Parent's Night would change the course of my future. Or that when I imagined walking down the aisle, it would be to him. Or when I dreamed of my babies, they would look a little like me and lot like that shaggy haired guy in the bomber jacket. And that when we chatted our long chats as friends about sitting on a porch and watching kids play in the yard, it would be OUR porch and OUR kids. Our love story was a journey down a long and winding road, one that of often makes me look back and say "huh, who knew?" And in fact, most of my life has been one "huh, who knew?" after another.

Albuquerque engagement photographer - ccliberman photography

When I met Amy in college, she was a fearless and fun-loving Nebraska girl who packed up her car, her best friend and her big brother to follow her sister to school. We had good times together and know more about each other than either of us would probably care share as adults. We were casual friends. I didn't see or hear from her much after college. She got married. I ran into her once at the mall, she had just found out she was pregnant with her first son. Not long after, I ran into her again, she had just found out she was pregnant with her SECOND son. Later, I heard through the grapevine she'd gotten divorced but was doing great. So when I ran into her while I was Christmas shopping last year, the first thing I said was "are you pregnant?!" She assured me she was not, which led me to ask what big thing was going on her life. I pointed out that I only ran into her - always at the mall - when her life was about to change in a big way. She kind of shook her head and laughed, said "nothing really." I prodded her a little more, and she finally said "well, I just met this guy." And she went on to tell me about this guy with a parachute who just fell out of the clear blue Balloon Fiesta sky. She liked him, he was good to her kids, overall a really good guy...and then she told me all the reasons why he was completely wrong and it would never work...he lives in another state, blah blah. Now it was my turn to shrug, and I said "I'm not saying you have to marry him or anything, but maybe you give him a chance...I only run into when your life is about to change." I figured she might look back on the day they met in the oddest of ways and say "huh, who knew."

Albuquerque engagement photographer - ccliberman photography I did an engagement session with Amy and her new fiance Tom in January. They were still unsure about when or how they were gonna tie the knot, they laughed a lot and made me laugh. I enjoyed my time with them. When it was over I told Amy to give me a call next time she needed family pictures. So when she asked me to do a pre-wedding family shoot in March, I was a little freaked out. I don't shoot weddings. I love them. I love love stories and vows and dresses and flowers, and I especially love CAKE, but I do not love that kind of pressure. I left pressure behind with my journalism career. It took some convincing for her to get me to say "I do" to her proposal. But she assured me "no pressure," just a regular session with her in a dress and him in a suit...really, no pressure. She was completely wrong, I've never been so scared in my life. Or so exhilarated. Or had so much fun. Or been so tired and hungry when I got home. It felt a little like labor, painful but with great anticipation, and my baby was this collection of amazing pictures of an amazingly cool couple with two amazingly cool sons (both of whom might have futures as photographers, if the their great joy at playing with my camera is any indication.) And now I look back on our college days and think about how I got to be a small part of this incredibly special day, and I think ... "huh, who knew?"

Albuquerque engagement photographer - ccliberman photography So I raise my glass to Amy and Tom and make a toast in the words of George Sand, "There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."

courtesy of Briana Saban High-heels in hand, I arrived ready to bare all ... well ... sort of ready. I pulled out all of my goodies and started taking tags off my never-been-worn wares. I started with the corset, classic and covered. The right photographer - and in this case, the right friend - is not shy. Bri gave me red lipstick and told me to tart it up a bit, complimented me on my "great pair" and we were off.

By outfit number two, I was in the swing of it. The corset gave way to a nightie, the nightie to the lacy bra and panty set, and the lacy set lead to a white sheet. I was more than confident in Bri's vision for making awesome pictures, and I was even willing to take direction. I only asked about her camera settings and lenses once...ok, probably twice.

courtesy of Briana Saban

Here's what I learned:

We all get nervous and self-conscious, and that's okay. As a photographer, I sympathize with your nerves, but I already know how awesome you are going to look. My job is to make you comfortable and help you tap into your sexy side. On the other side of the camera, it was hard for me to step out of my self-critical mindset and just BE the sexy woman my husband sees when he looks at me, but you know what? She was in there! And she's inside you, too. 

Listen to your photographer. I know, that sounds self-serving because I AM the photographer, but it's true. She can see all the things you can't when you are standing against a wall in heels pushing your boobs out while trying to pull in all the things you don't want anyone to see.

Relax your face. This is supposed to be fun, and it is. Imagine your partner doing whatever crazy things he does to make you laugh, or the sweet things he does to make you happy. Think steamy thoughts and silly thoughts. LAUGHTER IS SEXY!

Love yourself. I left my session feeling like a million bucks! If I'd planned better, there would have been a date night to follow so my husband could have been benefited from all that confidence. When I finally got to SEE my pictures, I felt like a BILLION bucks. Who knew I looked like that?! Well, besides the Mr. who said "That's how you ALWAYS look to me!"

courtesy of Briana Saban

I encourage EVERYONE to find their inner-sexy. Whether it's a day at the spa, a lingerie shopping trip or a photo shoot, DO IT. Sure, your partner will get a kick out of the results, but the changes it can make in the way you see YOURSELF are truly priceless.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography First stop: Frederick's of Hollywood. Yep, right into the deep end. I was told by a friend that they custom fit you for corsets, and being more than a little nervous about showing it all off, I thought corset equals coverage and coverage is GOOD. Before every shoot, I have nearly the exact same conversation with every woman I photograph. I reassure each of them that she is beautiful and that her pictures will reflect that. I tell her that her partner loves her the way she looks right now and the rest is just frosting on an already delicious cake. It's all absolutely true, and I believe it with my whole heart. And I was totally freaked out. This was ME. And I almost never step in FRONT of a camera. Turns out that I had all the same insecurities as every other woman in the world. So I gave myself my own pep talk and started loading up on lacy and sheer and strappy and sexy. To say I was in over my head is an understatement. I can clip a garter like nobody's business ... on you. But I can't tell you how many things I get tangled in in dressing rooms everywhere. Good thing I had some help. Vicky, the manager at the Coronado store, became my surrogate BFF and second set of hands. She picked out a few things she thought I might like, taught me how to loosen the corsets to get in and then pulled (and pulled and pulled and pulled) to tie me into them. We pushed up and pulled in until I found the one that was just right for my body and my photo shoot. She taught me how to escape from and, most importantly, how to get back in to my custom-tied corset. We added stockings and undies, and some little water-balloon thingies to give my post-baby "girls" a lift. I was excited to wear my cute outfit, and I was completely EXHAUSTED.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography Later that afternoon, I was back in the lace mines with a trip to Victoria's Secret...because I thought, contrary to popular belief, maybe life COULD be a constant VS fashion show. I also had a very large gift card that was burning a hole in my pocketbook. After my Frederick's adventure, I was definitely more comfortable with the lacy things I usually blow passed on my way to the cotton. I was looking for something ... different, and they don't make sexy head-to-toe Spanx ... I looked. I picked up a few pairs of embellished cotton panties. Baby steps. I also got a few everyday bras, one of them was VERY hot pink, and a sheer little thing with matching panties. I picked up a lacy bra and panty set. I always suggest women bring outfits in an array of colors for variety, but I wear black, or its cousin, grey - my husband says my wardrobe is a rainbow of black and off-black - nearly every day. So it's no surprise that I picked two sets in black. I was already breaking my own rules. Bad Carm, but I hope not bad karma. Don't tell.

It was a long day of shopping, but I left the mall armed with a few super-sexy outfits that made me feel confident and H-O-T for my boudoir shoot and a few things to spice up my everyday wardrobe. The next step was getting out of the house with hair and makeup done, and a giant bag of frothy lingerie without giving away my sexy surprise.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography NEXT UP: Taking it all off at my personal boudoir shoot ... and maybe, if you're good, I'll even show you a picture or two.

Albuquerque maternity photographer - ccliberman photography

A million and a half years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth...OK, like when I was in my 20s, but it might as well be the same thing, my best friend (since high school!) and I had a plan to do a three-trimester maternity series. It was something I wanted to try and something she was so excited about, that long after I'd forgotten about it, she held on to the idea waiting for her baby to come along so we could do it. Fast forward through our weddings - we were maids of honor for one another - my two kids, and lots and lots of work, she was finally having the baby she longed for. So, the plan was a go...with the small hiccups of her living in Sacramento, Calif., and me not being very mobile with two little kids. We worked out the logistics and created a very personal, very special series of maternity nudes (you can't see those) and not nudes that tells the story of this baby from beginning to birth.

Baby is due any day ... I can't wait to meet him or her.

Maybe that’s just because I’m still a child at heart

And I still believe in Old St. Nick

But then again maybe that’s the trick we need

We need to retreat to a world of make believe"

- New Kids on the Block

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography I'm always ready to start decorating for Christmas the week before Halloween. Everyone else is carving pumpkins and putting the finishing touches on their kids' costumes, and I'm already mapping out where I'm going to put all my trees. Yes, TREES. Plural. My husband calls it the Faux Fir Forest. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. It's magical, it's beautiful and it's FUN! When I was a kid, I would start checking the stockings weeks before THE DAY, convinced that Santa would drop just one little goody in there to let me know he was coming. And before I was a busy mom, I started planning my color schemes and decorations in June. JUNE. You'll never hear me complain about holiday music creeping out over store speakers in October, or about Christmas lights edging out Halloween costumes. Santa's arrival at the mall makes my heart positively soar. But these days, after the trick-or-treat candy is eaten, the Turkey is carved and the gifts are bought, I just don't have much energy left for turning my house into a winter wonderland. Now, I'm lucky to get the trees up, the presents wrapped and the posole made by the time my family arrives on Christmas Eve. And just like Scrooge is famous for his "bah humbug," my traditional holiday greeting is quickly becoming "oh well, good enough."

But, this year is different. This year, I gave myself an early Christmas present. I started getting ready for Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving. I bought new ornaments for my trees. I started designing our family holiday card. And I enlisted the help of my beautiful, adventurous, good sport of a friend (yeah, I'm sucking up a little. I kind of owe her) to help me create a cozy, snowy winter scene for my *business holiday card. She was even willing to shed 10 pounds sweating it out in a coat, hat, scarf AND mittens on a lovely, warm Albuquerque evening. And for her troubles, I served her up a steaming cup of good cheer.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography And since I'm so far ahead of the game, I'm going to really hammer home the point by putting up my trees this weekend. ALL of them. I'm going to start singing Christmas Carols, and playing all my favorite boy-band and Neil Diamond holiday albums. So, if you're feeling festive, come on over. The stockings will be hung, the cocoa will be hot, and I'll be the one in the Santa hat, hopped up on candy canes.

*Neither of these are the final image. That Christmas surprise will arrive via mailbox.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

Photographers will tell you that they are more comfortable behind the camera. I'm no exception. No one understands how uncomfortable you are at the beginning of your session, better than I do. Seriously. But, just like I work with you to relax and let your inner beauty shine through, I'm working with myself to relax.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

And I'm working up to a self-portrait boudoir project, so I've been spending some time navel gazing...well, not QUITE navel gazing...but we'll get there.
Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

And since I had the camera out anyway...

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

I added a little something to the selfie series for my own husband. He was pleasantly surprised.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

Fall is definitely in the air. Hot, sticky summer days have given way to cool breezes and overcast mornings. There's a crisp chill in the evenings, and the smell of roasting green chile and changing leaves in the wind. But every once, in awhile I catch a brief hint of summer as it wafts up and tickles my nose.

I have a zillion bottles and wands and lotions of delicious smelling perfumes I've bought over time. Light summery scents, deep wintery scents. Flowery, herbal, flirty and all fabulous. But my very favorite perfume was a freebie with purchase. The bottle is small and smooth. It fits in my hand perfectly. The edges are rounded and soft. It feels feminine. The scent is light. It's a mixture of something floral, something fruity and something a little darker, a little sexier. Vanilla maybe? And like the bottle, the smell is rounded and soft, and feels decidedly feminine without being too girly. I wear it almost all the time. On fun girls' outings, when I haven't showered, on date night with the Mr., taking the kiddo to school. It makes me feel put together. I would even say it's become my signature scent.

So when I lean in and give you a hug, and you suddenly catch a brief whiff of summer...it's me.

What's your signature scent and how does it make YOU feel?

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

Months and months ago, a girlfriend talked me into buying a 1920s style beaded dress. She said I HAD to get it, HAD TO. It was, of course, the PERFECT dress. After some "and where would I wear such a thing?" protesting, I bought it. And promptly stuck it in the closet where it stayed, bringing up the overall stock of my wardrobe, but really just hanging out...because seriously, WHERE was I gonna wear a beaded dress?! And then she had an idea ...

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

Well, she had LOTS of ideas. The first was her wedding ... on a boat ... in Niagara Falls, Jim-and-Pam style. You know, the blue plastic raincoat type of boat ride ... Ummm no. But this month, I was in charge of picking our Girls' Night spot, and I picked a newish fine dining restaurant that drew my attention with its Olympics-worthy torches that adorn the front entrance. My super-shopping, peer-pressuring girlfriend decided the dress was about to make it's debut. All the ladies loved the idea of dressing up and you know what THAT means...I needed SHOES. So armed with only my cell phone and debit card, I set off on an epic quest, worthy only of Hobbits (who are known for their particularly distinctive feet) and Heidi Klum, to find the perfect pair of shoes to go with the perfect dress.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

I RARELY wear heels. Since my kids were born, dress-up shoes are ballet flats and everyday shoes are Converse. I have heels ... that I've worn once. Maybe twice. I can barely remember what it's like to have a rainbow of beautiful colorful, sculptural, beautiful heels that are arranged in the closet by hotness quotient instead of comfort rating. Now, I could wax poetic about my life- and self-image changing shoe quest. I could talk about how I strengthened the bonds of friendship through technology as I drove my mommy mobile up and down town, stopping only to contemplate some bold floral chairs at TJ Maxx. But, c'mon it's SHOE shopping, not saving the world. I did find the right shoes though. Sexy and fun, and anything BUT functional. They made a super-hot statement, one that said "I look amazing...sitting down." I love them, my husband loves them and the GIRLS loved them!

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

Sexy isn't just what you wear or how you walk or some intangible thing that you exude. Sexy can be ... anything. My husband thinks it's sexy when I'm wearing leggings and a t-shirt. I think it's because he can see all the curves of my body, even if they are covered from neck to ankle in heather grey jersey knit. So, on a recent "if I don't get away from my children RIGHT NOW, I'm gonna jump off something tall" trip to Hobby Lobby (ALONE!), I saw a set of mini dressers I HAD to have. Impulse buy. And the key word is pulse. As in, mine started racing because I loved them and they were on HELLA sale and, most importantly, they were SEXY. (Sexy and CHEAP. They were $48 each. I'm proud. Probably too proud.)

It was in that moment that the little nugget that had been rolling around in the back of my brain took hold: I WANT TO LIVE IN A HOUSE WORTH PHOTOGRAPHING.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

Usually, I long to live in the Pottery Barn catalog or on the West Elm web site. I want to live in a house full of the rooms I'm pinning on Pinterest. And when I did a shoot in a friend's super awesome apartment, I wanted to start a studio right there in her living room. But my house, my REAL house, is kind of hodge podge, with a couch I've had since I got my first big-girl job and one that my in-laws gave us when they bought a new one, tables and dressers and bookshelves we bought for function but definitely - DEFINITELY - not form. But times they are a-changing and furniture, it is a-changing with them. I want to live a house that makes me happy to open the door and walk in. That feels "put together" like a well thought out outfit. Where the fixtures and the furniture work together. And where the pieces feel like ME and like US.

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

So I bought the super-sexy mini dressers before I could second guess myself (and a little validating backup via text from my mom and a girlfriend didn't hurt either). I tried them all over and found they belonged on either side of the bed. My husband thought they were bordello sexy. I thought they were combo of feminine and race car sexy. What do you think?

Albuquerque boudoir photographer - ccliberman photography

And the bonus question: How do YOU define sexy?

Yes, YOU.

I think the most common thing I hear when I tell people about my work as a boudoir photographer is that it's something they would LOVE to do ... "when I lose 10 lbs." And I, as a constant chaser of those very same 10 lbs, know the feeling of longing for the confidence gain that comes with weight loss. But here's the thing (and it's important, so listen up): YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Just as you are (in the words of the delicious Colin Firth playing the uber romantic Mark Darcy ... and who doesn't love a compliment from that guy?!). Seriously. You. Sitting at the computer. Beautiful. So stop thinking about the last 10 lbs, pick up a mirror and look at yourself. REALLY LOOK. Not at your butt or your post-baby belly or your end-of-summer pores. Look past all of that and see what your partner and your kids and your best friend and your mom see. See the wonderful you that is shining through all the things you can't stop looking at. And you'll see what they see and what I see when I photograph you. Beauty.

*The picture I used here is by Abigail Wynne of www.abbywynne.com. She's a phenomenal Chicago artist whose site I love to look at. Check her out, she's amazing.